A wise somebody once said that the internet was a place where men were men, women were men and children were FBI agents. It's hell being a parent in a connected household nowadays and in its continuing effort to make the world a safer place Microsoft has decided to teach parents about how kids communicate online (thanks George). Leet words can be expressed in hundreds of ways using different substitutions and combinations, but once one understands that nearly all characters are formed as phonemes and symbols, leetspeek isn't difficult to translate. Indeed, leetness can be expressed in hundreds of ways. You could virtually slap someone around with a big large trout and type out "0wn3d j00!", humiliate someone asking a relevant question in a forum with your sharp wit ("h3y n00bz, g0 fux0r y0s3lf!") or quite possibly make friends with an offering of a 1337 ASCII beer mug c(_) Microsoft does a good job at not only understanding but being 1337: "pron": An anagram of "porn," possibly indicating the use of pornography. I don't know about you but I never thought I would read the word "pron" (I prefer pr0n) on Microsoft's site. To be honest, I respect Microsoft for undertaking the task of clarifying leetspeak to adults and in the process making themselves vulnerable to posts like this one. Thinking about it, I doubt they give a rat's ass but still... This exercise is, of course, completely futile: kids will only need to come up with new ways to confuse grown-ups. I propose p1G l4t1N (or 1337 Pig Latin), a hybrid/mongrel language that surely even Microsoft won't be able to make sense of: 0wn4y 3t'sl4y 33s4y 1fw4y 3yth4y 4nc4y 4k3m4y 3ns3s4y0fw4y 15th4y.